While I focused the three challenges of this week about time – on intentionally being early, on intentionally being exactly on time and intentionally being late – the three challenges actually have little to do with time itself. They have everything to do with our mind states, our habits and our thought patterns. Our relationship to time is wrapped up in the state of our ego which does not always have our best interest at heart.
Time is actually irrelevant when we are living in the present, when we are mindful. Time has no meaning whatsoever other than the meaning we ourselves attribute to it. For example, if we habitually find that we want to always be late, we may be carrying certain thought forms like,
- “I’m a very busy person and I don’t have time to wait around for other people to arrive to the meeting.”
- “I’m a very important person so in order to be able to assert my importance I will arrive late to every meeting that I actually attend. I want everyone to see that I am important and I can not attend any meeting that happens to arbitrarily start at a very specific time.”
Perhaps you are a person who is routinely and habitually always exactly on time. What are the feelings and thought processes driving that habit? Is it perhaps because you like to be seen as:
- A person who is a perfectionist?
- A person who is reliable?
- A person who is trustworthy?
- A person who cares about others so you do not want them to be waiting around just for you?
- A person that wants to be precisely on time because you cannot tolerate the anxiety that is associated with being early?
Or, perhaps you are person who is routinely and habitually early to all appointments. Is it perhaps because you:
- Do not want to be seen if you come late?
- Do not want to be judged as unreliable?
- Do not want to waste other people’s time because they are more important than you?
Of course I could go on and on with many different types of rationales that might float through our minds whether we are early, on time or late, but they are all connected to thought forms that certainly do not serve our best and highest good.
Although there are no doubt thought forms connected with the habit of always being early to appointments, the ideal strategy to reduce stress is to give yourself plenty of opportunity to get wherever it is that you need to get; to plan ahead of time so that you may be a bit early to all of the appointments. This way there is no stress involved in worrying about whether or not you might be late – if in fact being late is a worry you find that you oftentimes have.
The challenge this week is to evaluate and to assess your relationship with what it means to be “on time,” and to consider the possibility of loosening the link between when you arrive and when you are planning on arriving to your appointments. This will enable you to be more in the moment, more mindful of each and every experience that you are having now.
When we are focused on time we are always thinking about the future. In other words, we are always focused on being at a place at some future point in time. That, as it turns out, is not being mindful.
Set a new habit so that you give yourself plenty of time.
- Start preparing to leave early.
- Slow everything down.
- Relish the pleasure of dressing to get ready.
- Hear the sound of your footsteps.
- Enjoy the journey as you enter into your car or bus or train or plane.
Moreover, take in the full experience of the taking each step of the journey to wherever it is that you are going without worrying about being early, about being on time or about being late.
Continue if you will your own self-examination. See if you might be able to cast aside some of the habits that you might have adopted over time about time so that you can be more fully and completely focused on the moment. This is the place you will derive limitless pleasure. This is the place where stress has no opportunity to enter into your body. This is the place that requires no travel. You are always there.
How much time did you allocate today to read this follow-up to your mindfulness challenge of the week? Are you behind time now? Will you now be unable to accomplish everything on your daily plan of activities? Did it take you longer than you had planned to read this email? Or, was there no anticipation or plan for the day? You see, time is simply whatever we make it out to be.
Robert
© Parkinsons Recovery