What is the underlying meaning of the assignment this week to be more attentive to all words and expressions of distraction? Words of distraction actually deflate the effectiveness of the intent that we wish to convey. How many times have you listened to a person talk who used so many qualifiers that you held the thought,
“Can’t you just get the point? I really can’t wait another 5 minutes for you to be able to use the words that I need to hear to understand what it is that you are actually saying.”
When we use many qualifying utterances in the sentences that we speak to others, our thoughts are not taken seriously. People in the public arena practice talking so that they don’t use qualifiers and distractors. They well know that their audience will stop listening after a couple of sentences if their sentences are filled with words like “uh,” and “well” and “what I mean is…”
There’s another much more important reason to become mindful of qualifiers that you inject when you talk. You are using these same qualifiers when you think about the possibility of recovery. I, as you know, interview hundreds of people every year about their thoughts with regard to recovery.
I often ask the question,
“So how is fairing, how is it looking for you?”
The answers that I hear are clues about the real intent the person has set for recovery. For example, I’m going to now paraphrase some of what I have heard over the last six years:
“Well, you know, the doctor says that it’s really not going to be possible, so of course, you know, I’m going to him for a long time and I know, um, that well, he’s you know, pretty prestigious guy, he’s, you know, well, he’s at a really, I mean, uh, a really good university and I, well you know, I–I really got the best man, and–and, that I could possibly get. And so, I don’t know, I just hope that uh, well, I don’t know, I just hope that down the rod that uh, I guess if I could just not get–get worse, I mean, you know. You know that would be really–that’s I’m like, well, like, I mean that’s what really, that’s what I guess in the end I’d like–I’d like to see.”
Maybe you think this is an exaggeration, but I assure you it is not. When people respond, there are qualifications that are embedded in how they express themselves. There are a string of distracting terms that take away from their true intention to recover. Contrast that response with the following, the question:
“How do you see the prospects for your recovery now?”
Here’s the answer:
“I’m recovering everyday – there’s no doubt about it.”
End of story. That’s it. That is all there is to the answer. That is the gist of the intention. No qualifying terms and needed or necessary. Contrast this response with:
“Well, yeah, you know, um, well, the way it turns out is I think all things considered, probably, you know, well, what people – what a lot of people really say is that they, they think I’m probably better, that I’m recovering and, you know, I don’t know, I don’t know exactly, well, I’d say, yeah, I’d probably, yeah, I’m recov–I do have, well, like everyone I have, you know, I have, I have bad–some bad days here and there, but I guess I’m–I’m probably, yeah, I’m probably recovering. I–I guess, yep, I suppose that’s right.”
Now, I don’t know how you felt about the contrast of those two responses but in just speaking them, it is profound for me. In the second response I am full of reservation and hesitation. I quite frankly do not have the true intent to take the action that is needed and required to be able to begin to reverse my symptoms.
In the very first statement there is absolutely no doubt but that in my heart, mind and soul and in every cell of my body I have set the intention to take whatever action is needed to reverse my symptoms and become symptom-free.
- I am ready to live my life.
- I am ready to actualize my passion.
- I am ready to activate my life force.
There is a huge difference between the two statements. The first statement facilitates movement into that space of full power – that place where the intention for recovery is fully and completely activated.
It helps enormously to begin noticing all of the qualifiers that you use when you talk to anyone about anything. And, of course, as you begin to notice those qualifiers – as you talk out loud to others – those unconscious expressions of doubt and hesitation are the very same qualifiers that you are using when you talk to yourself about reversing your symptoms. .
Let me know conclude with another contrast, a contrast with a statement that is full distractions and a final salutation that is not:
“So, uh, okay everybody out there. So, you know, well, this is Robert and well, I just it’s been kind of–it’s, you know, everyone says it’s been fun for me to do these and I know kind of like a–like everybody out there, you know, like, you know, you’re listening and I, uh, so uh, you know I know that you probably uh, probably like this one, I don’t know. And I really, I don’t know whether you like, eh, shoot, I really I don’t know whether you really liked it or not, but–but I did, you know, you know I thought it was, I–this was fun. Yeah, but there’s no–yep, yeah, uh-huh, this was yep, no doubt about it. This was, this was just a whole lot of fun and anyway, so, uh this, uh, this is uh, Parkinsons Recovery and uh, I’m Robert and so, you know, like uh, have a really good week.
Now, let me see if I can contrast a very different salutation; a way that we can end our connection with one another today:
“I have fully and completely relished thinking about what I might assign to you as a challenge this week. I have been thrilled at the challenge I gave myself. I have found it fun and challenging. I know that you will also enjoy the experience. Have fun. Be challenged. Don’t get too frustrated. Whatever you do, have a wonderful time. I am Robert Rodgers and this is Parkinsons Recovery.
There is a big difference between the two for me as I speak. How about you?
Robert
© Parkinsons Recovery