Category: Mindfulness Challenge for the Week

I have a challenge for you this week that I have been practicing now for some time. My own experience has been profound. Each and every encounter that you have with another individual, whether it is –

• Over the phone
• Through an email exchange
• During a chat on the internet
• In person

Think to yourself –

“There is a possibly this person may not be alive tomorrow.” 

Let me be perfectly clear here. You are certainly not wishing that the person will die. Rather, you are honoring the reality that life is very fragile and very temporary. I have never met a person who is 140 years old.

You and I well know that we have friends and acquaintances who were alive and perfectly healthy one day. The following day they died from an entirely unexpected turn of events; automobile accidents, traumas, unexpected illnesses. It happens.

It happens to those who are one-day-old. It happens to those who are 100-years-old.  Death comes to all living entities; animals, humans, everyone.  We do not know when death will be knocking at our own door, but we can be assured it will pay us a visit eventually.

Recognizing this possibility enriches each and every encounter we have with another person.  How many of you have experienced the following thought sequence?  A family member or a treasured friend dies unexpectedly.  You are very saddened. You are grieving.  Some of your thoughts take the following form.

“The last time I saw my friend was three weeks ago.  There were so many things I wish I had told them.  I didn’t really have time for them then because I was rushing off to another appointment.  They wanted to hang out but I didn’t have the time the last time I saw them alive. Oh how I wish I had had an opportunity once again to have that encounter. I would do it differently.” 

I have had thoughts just like that in my life.  Thoughts of regret and guilt will not surface when we are present and mindful of the present moment. The realization that it is possible (though of course not probable) that our friends and family may not be alive tomorrow is the thought that provides a powerful inventive to live in the present rather than being preoccupied with popping off to the next appointment.

The acknowledgment that every living being dies enriches the practice of mindful attention to each and every moment, to each and every encounter.  It enriches the loveliness of being alive in a body.

To summarize, with each and every encounter – whether it comes through email correspondence, a telephone conversation or face-to-face encounters – think to yourself –

“This person may not be alive tomorrow. We can never really know what the future has in store for anyone.”

Then, initiate the interaction.  Notice how you feel about the exchange which ensues.  Speaking for myself, all of my encounters became richer and more meaningful.

Why is that?  I am not anticipating the future. Rather. I am living in the present moment, mindful that whatever thoughts I have and whatever feelings I may experience need to be expressed now. There may be no tomorrow to say what I had thought about saying yesterday but did not have enough time.

Robert

© Parkinsons Recovery

My mindfulness challenge for you this week is to become fully and completely attentive to the suffering of other persons.  Let me make something absolutely clear at the outset.   The invitation is not that you suffer yourself. Rather, become aware and sensitive to the suffering of other persons.

Suffering can come in rather extreme packages.  We are certainly all aware of the suffering of individuals who are seriously ill and in pain.  Suffering can also assume milder forms.  There can be many nuances of suffering in the tone of a person’s voice, in their expressions or even in the way they may hesitate or stumble over the words they speak. With each and every encounter with another individual, become fully attentive and aware of all suffering that may be evident with the other person.

Some examples may help flesh out the idea behind the challenge this week.

• You are driving in your car down the street. A person driving in their car behind you decides that they need to drive a couple of inches next to your back bumper.  Look in the mirror. Examine the expression on their face. Sink in to what may be going on with the person who is on your tail. There is obviously suffering present.

• You are standing in a line waiting to pay for groceries.  The person behind you is obviously very agitated. Their body is tense and contorted. They are eager to pass through the line very, very quickly.  Look. Notice the expression on their face. Be attentive to what is going on with them in the present moment.

• You are sitting at the dinner table when a family member shifts into an emotional outburst. Pay close attention to their ever changing feelings as they unfold over the course of the outburst. Suffering can settle in for a spell and – all of a sudden – vanish in a flash. Obverse any indications of irritation, flashes of anger and little flares of frustration that slip out uncontrollably. Take delight in a release from the suffering which may be accompanied by a funny tale. The shifts can be shocking and the nuances flabbergasting.

• You are listening to your favorite radio show when a listener calls in to rant. Extend your assessment of suffering to people on the radio who rant. You can hear suffering in their voices.

Suffering is ever-present in every one’s life. We do not have to be licensed detectives to confront it firsthand in ourselves or others.

Be aware of what suffering looks like. How does it feel inside your body when you connect from a deep place inside of you with the suffering of another?  Is there a unique sensation in your physical body that emerges? Does the suffering you encounter assume an intensity that ranges from mild to severe? Or, is the intensity even handed and reserved? Make no judgments. Simply observe. Be mindful of each and every encounter you have with a person who is suffering in the moment.

When you observe suffering – and you are likely to observe it often over the course of one day – do a quick assessment of its character, intensity and extensiveness for the individual.

Most of us (myself included!) prefer to run away from suffering. Turn that fear around this week. Become more and more sensitive and attentive to the suffering of each person you encounter. Please keep in mind – as I said at the outset – please do not take on the suffering of others. It is not yours to have. Simply become aware of the suffering of others and leave it at that.

Robert

© Parkinsons Recovery