The mindfulness challenge that I have for you this week is to become a sponge when listening to friends, family and co-workers talk. Listen with your entire body, your heart and your essence. Listen as if you were a sponge.
- Hear every nuance.
- See every gesture.
- Notice every pause.
- Sense every emotion.
- Soak up every word.
No responses need be offered or given, even if solicited.
When another person talks “at us”, it is not uncommon to extend to them a tiny fraction of our full attention. We half-way listen to what they are saying as we ponder the many unfinished tasks that remain to be done by the end of the day. We are all guilty!
How many conversations do you typically have with other people that are unsatisfying? How often do you feel as though you have not been heard? How frequently do you realize that the person is only partially attentive to what it is you are trying to communicate? How often does the other person claim that they understand you, but you know in your heart that they do not come close?
When you do communicate with others this week – be a sponge. Notice any thoughts that float into your mind as you listen. Simply acknowledge each and every thought as they emerge whatever they might be. Place them in a “holding” container as you continue listening.
As a person talks you might notice they have –
- Wrinkles or
- A scratchy face or
- Moles under their left ear
Perhaps you think to yourself –
“My goodness. My friend is looking much older today than they did the last time I saw them last month.”
Thoughts do pop into our heads that have nothing to do with what the person is attempting to communicate. There is no practical way to stop those thoughts. When they do slip into your head, simply say to yourself –
“Oh, right. Okay, let me just put this thought aside and re-direct my attention to absorbing all that this person that I’m talking with right now is saying. I want to hear all the words. I want to understand their true intent. I want to get the full meaning.”
To become a sponge means to –
Absorb all the words
Be fully and completely present
Hear every idea the person is trying to convey
Understand the true meaning of their words
Honor the feelings underneath their words
It may well be the case that there are situations where you do have to make decisions. Of course you need to do that. But, in other instances when you are communicating with another individual, be a sponge. Get the full experience of what it means to devote your full energy, attention and essence to what the other person is attempting to say. Not everyone is a word smith. Sometimes you have to listen with your heart.
Robert
© Parkinsons Recovery