Category: Mindfulness Challenge for the Week

My mindfulness challenge for you this week is to become fully and completely attentive to the suffering of other persons.  Let me make something absolutely clear at the outset.   The invitation is not that you suffer yourself. Rather, become aware and sensitive to the suffering of other persons.

Suffering can come in rather extreme packages.  We are certainly all aware of the suffering of individuals who are seriously ill and in pain.  Suffering can also assume milder forms.  There can be many nuances of suffering in the tone of a person’s voice, in their expressions or even in the way they may hesitate or stumble over the words they speak. With each and every encounter with another individual, become fully attentive and aware of all suffering that may be evident with the other person.

Some examples may help flesh out the idea behind the challenge this week.

• You are driving in your car down the street. A person driving in their car behind you decides that they need to drive a couple of inches next to your back bumper.  Look in the mirror. Examine the expression on their face. Sink in to what may be going on with the person who is on your tail. There is obviously suffering present.

• You are standing in a line waiting to pay for groceries.  The person behind you is obviously very agitated. Their body is tense and contorted. They are eager to pass through the line very, very quickly.  Look. Notice the expression on their face. Be attentive to what is going on with them in the present moment.

• You are sitting at the dinner table when a family member shifts into an emotional outburst. Pay close attention to their ever changing feelings as they unfold over the course of the outburst. Suffering can settle in for a spell and – all of a sudden – vanish in a flash. Obverse any indications of irritation, flashes of anger and little flares of frustration that slip out uncontrollably. Take delight in a release from the suffering which may be accompanied by a funny tale. The shifts can be shocking and the nuances flabbergasting.

• You are listening to your favorite radio show when a listener calls in to rant. Extend your assessment of suffering to people on the radio who rant. You can hear suffering in their voices.

Suffering is ever-present in every one’s life. We do not have to be licensed detectives to confront it firsthand in ourselves or others.

Be aware of what suffering looks like. How does it feel inside your body when you connect from a deep place inside of you with the suffering of another?  Is there a unique sensation in your physical body that emerges? Does the suffering you encounter assume an intensity that ranges from mild to severe? Or, is the intensity even handed and reserved? Make no judgments. Simply observe. Be mindful of each and every encounter you have with a person who is suffering in the moment.

When you observe suffering – and you are likely to observe it often over the course of one day – do a quick assessment of its character, intensity and extensiveness for the individual.

Most of us (myself included!) prefer to run away from suffering. Turn that fear around this week. Become more and more sensitive and attentive to the suffering of each person you encounter. Please keep in mind – as I said at the outset – please do not take on the suffering of others. It is not yours to have. Simply become aware of the suffering of others and leave it at that.

Robert

© Parkinsons Recovery

The mindfulness challenge that I have for you this week is to become a sponge when listening to friends, family and co-workers talk.  Listen with your entire body, your heart and your essence.  Listen as if you were a sponge.

1. Hear every nuance.
2. See every gesture.
3. Notice every pause.
4. Sense every emotion.
5. Soak up every word.

No responses need be offered or given, even if solicited.

When another person talks “at us”, it is not uncommon to extend to them a tiny fraction of our full attention. We half-way listen to what they are saying as we ponder the many unfinished tasks that remain to be done by the end of the day. We are all guilty!

How many conversations do you typically have with other people that are unsatisfying? How often do you feel as though you have not been heard? How frequently do you realize that the person is only partially attentive to what it is you are trying to communicate?  How often does the other person claim that they understand you, but you know in your heart that they do not come close?

When you do communicate with others this week – be a sponge. Notice any thoughts that float into your mind as you listen. Simply acknowledge each and every thought as they emerge whatever they might be. Place them in a “holding” container as you continue listening.

As a person talks you might notice they have –

• Wrinkles or
• A scratchy face or
• Moles under their left ear

Perhaps you think to yourself –

“My goodness.  My friend is looking much older today than they did the last time I saw them last month.” 

Thoughts do pop into our heads that have nothing to do with what the person is attempting to communicate. There is no practical way to stop those thoughts. When they do slip into your head, simply say to yourself –

“Oh, right.  Okay, let me just put this thought aside and re-direct my attention to absorbing all that this person that I’m talking with right now is saying. I want to hear all the words. I want to understand their true intent. I want to get the full meaning.”

To become a sponge means to –

Absorb all the words

Be fully and completely present

Hear every idea the person is trying to convey

Understand the true meaning of their words

Honor the feelings underneath their words

It may well be the case that there are situations where you do have to make decisions.  Of course you need to do that. But, in other instances when you are communicating with another individual, be a sponge. Get the full experience of what it means to devote your full energy, attention and essence to what the other person is attempting to say. Not everyone is a word smith. Sometimes you have to listen with your heart.

Robert

© Parkinsons Recovery